I don't think she understands

The sacrifices that I made

Maybe if this bitch had acted right

I would have stayed

But I've already wasted over half my life

I would have laid down and died for you

I longer cry for you

No more pain

Bitch you took me for granted

Took my heart and ran it straight into the planet

Into the dirt

I can no longer stand it

Now my respect I demand it

Imma take control of this relationship

Command it

And I'm gonna be the boss of you now goddammit

And what I mean is that

I'm will no longer let you control me

So you better hear me out

This much you owe me

I gave up my life for you

Totally devoted to you

Why I've stayed

Faithful all the way

This is how I fucking get repaid?

Look at how I dress

Fucking baggy sweats

Go to work a mess

Always in a rush to get back to you

I ain't heard you yet

Not even once say you appreciate me

I deserve respect

I've done my best to give you

Nothing less then perfectness

And I know that if I end this

I'll no longer have nothing left

But you keep treating me like a staircase

It's time to fucking step

And I wont be coming back

So don't hold your fucking breath

You know what you've done

No need to go in depth

I told you you'd be sorry

If I fucking left

I laughed while you wept

How's it feel now?

Yeah funny ain't it

You neglected me

Did me a favor

Let all my spirit free

You've said

Got a special place for you

In my heart

That I have kept

It's unfortunate but it's

I feel like

When I bend over backwards for you

All you do is laugh

Cuz that ain't good enough

You expect me to fold myself in half

Till I snap

Don't think I'm loyal

All I do is rap

How can I moonlight on the side

I have no life outside of that

Don't I give you enough of my time?

You don't think so do you?

Jealous when I spend time with the girls

Why I'm married to you still

Man I don't know

But tonight I'm serving you with papers

I'm divorcing you

Go marry someone else

And make em famous

And take away their freedom

Like you did to me

Treat em like you don't need em

And they ain't worthy of you

Feed em

The same shit that you made me eat

I'm moving on

Forget you

Oh now I'm special

I didn't feel special when I was wit you

All I ever felt was this

Helplessness

Imprisoned by a selfish bitch

Chew me up and spit me out

I fell for this

So many times

It's ridiculous

And still I stick with this

I'm sick of this

But in my sickness

And addiction

Your addictive as they get

Evil as they come

Vindictive as they make em

My friends keep asking me

Why I can't just walk away from

I'm addicted

To the pain, the stress

The drama

I'm drawn to shit

So I guess I'm a mess

Cursed and blessed

But this time imma

Ain't changing my mind

I'm climbing out this abyss

Your screaming as I walk out

That I'll be missed

But when you spoke of people

Who meant the most to you

You left me off your list

Fuck you ,I'm leaving you

My life sentence is served..

And it's just.. Now YOUR just a fading memory, i don't even know who you are anymore

“who are you to judge the life i live? i know i’m not perfect and i don’t live to be. but, before you start pointing fingers, make sure your hands are clean.” ~ bob marley

"I'd try for you.."

If I walk would you run

If I stopped would you come

If I say you’re the one, would you believe me?

If I asked you to stay would you show me the way

Tell me what to say, so you don’t leave me

The world is catching up to you

But your running away.. to chase your dreams

Its time for us to make a move

Cos we are asking one another to change

And maybe I’m not ready

But I’l try for your love

I can hide up above

I will try for your love

We’ve been hiding enough

I will try for your love

I can hide up above

If I walk would you run?

If I stopped would you come?

If I say you’re the one would you believe me...

while considering your options, remember this and remember it well: Choice without consequences is no choice at all... One is the number and two is the one.

I allowed the winds of the world to blow through my very soul, admitted the perils and forebodings into my heart, I was pampered by my goddesses, betrayed by primitives, I loved to live, lived to love, life was my gamble, luck was my art form.

Winds of change blew, a hole though my head, scattering all my dreams. Its all so goddamn mean and strange. Im going out side in. can’t you see im blind? Walkin’ on stilts, you triple-crossed my mind, and rode into my heart. You say you’re looking for a savior, im just a beggar counting change. Do you remember when the world was an ocean of dreams and every ride was a wave? Ill always burn in the sun, while you stand in my shade. it’s sunrise on sunset, where every taboo is holy, before and after blow.

So in the end, was it worth it?  How irreparably changed my life has become. It's always the last days of summer and I've been left out in the cold with no door to get back in. I'll grant you I've had more than my share of poignant moments. Life passes most people by when they're busy making grand plans for it. Throughout my lifetime I've left pieces of my heart here and there. And now, there's almost barely enough to stay alive. But I force a smile, knowing that my ambition far exceeded my talent. There are no more white horses or pretty ladies at my door.

I love life, Art, Traveling the world, Raise a glass and toast the flame, Just like the old days.

All the ways you wish you could be, that's me.  I am free in all the ways that you are not. 

you are..you were

You’re in love again…

But it is my heat that is broken.

It kills me to even think. How quickly you were able to replace me.

I was the one that always took you back.. even when I’d had enough!

Trying to hold it together, when I’d already fallen apart.

It was more than I could handle.

Trying to swim, when I am so clearly sinking.

Trying to catch the ship. Eyes wide shut… Your gone, come back.

I’m in pieces trying to reform.

I’m falling over, yet, trying to stand strong.

You are everything I’ve ever wanted and everything I don’t need.

No love, No glory.

You’re the only pain I want to feel.

By Jce. Mc

I pray you'll be our eyes and watch us where we go. 

Help us to be wise, in times when we don't know..

5 people have passed away in the last 8 weeks.

God only gives you as much as you can handle..

I believe the struggle of losing one person was enough. 

my new empty people places, do not mean 

new empty spaces.. merely their essence 

will now have to kick it with me rather than

their physical selves.

All my life..

I'm not the type to get my heart broken
I'm not the type to get upset and cry
'cause I never leave my heart open
Never hurts me to say goodbye
Relationships don't get deep to me
Never got the whole in love thing
And someone can say they love me truly
But at the time it didn't mean a thing

[Chorus:]
My mind is gone, I'm spinning round
And deep inside, my tears I'll drown
I'm losing grip, what's happening
I stray from love, this is how I feel
This time was different
Felt like, I was just a victim
And it cut me like a knife
When you walked out of my life
Now I'm, in this condition
And I've, got all the symptoms
Of a girl with a broken heart
But no matter what you'll never see me cry

Did it happen when we first kissed?
'cause it's hurting me to let it go
Maybe 'cause we spent so much time
And I know that it's no more
I should've never let you hold me baby
Maybe why I'm sad to see us apart
I didn't give to you on purpose
Can't figure out how you stole my heart

[Chorus]

How did I get here with you, I'll never know?
I never meant to let it get so, personal
And after all I tried to do, to stay away from loving you
I'm broken heart and I can't let you know
And I won't let it show
You won't see me cry

[x2]
This time was different
Felt like, I was just a victim
And it cut me like a knife
When you walked out of my life
Now I'm, in this condition
And I've, got all the symptoms
Of a girl with a broken heart
But no matter what you'll never see me cry

All my life... 

love is suicide..

Everywhere is still
everything is restless in my heart
i hate the way this feels
suddenly i'm scared to be apart
the days are dark when you're not around
the air is getting hard to breathe
i wish that you would just put me down
i wish that i could go to sleep

loving you is suicide
i don't know should go or should i stay
i'm tryna to keep myself alive
knowing there's a chance it's all too late
but i heard you say you love me
that's the part i can't forget
and i wish that you come save me
cos i'm standing over the edge

i should let you go
tell myself the things i need to hear
but my brain is why you're wrong
that's why i'm loving you when you're not here
feels like i drown in your every word
and every breath that's in between
somehow you got me where it really hurts
it's killing every part of me

loving you is suicide
i don't know should go or should i stay
i'm tryna to keep myself alive
knowing there's a chance it's all too late
but i heard you say you love me
that's the part i can't forget
and i wish that you come save me
boy cos i'm standing over the edge

loving you is suicide
and my world's about to break
and i... had as much as i can take
and love is a long way down

loving you is suicide
and it's getting harder everyday
i'm tryna to keep myself alive
knowing there's a chance it's all too late
and i'm way past every moment
but i'm still determined to fight
and i know it's taking all my strength
to give emotions alive
loving you is suicide

whenever we give up something we really care about, 
we hope that one day the universe will reward our 
selfless choice..

Spacebound...

Don't play games it'll be dangerous if you f*** me over
Cause if I get burnt, I'ma show ya what it's like to hurt
Cause I've been treated like dirt befo' ya
And love is "evol", spell it backwards, I'll show ya

Nobody knows me, I'm cold, walk down this road all alone
It's no one's fault but my own, it's the path I've chosen to go
Frozen as snow, I show no emotion what'so ever, so
Don't ask me why I have no love


It sucks but it's exactly what I thought it would be like tryin' to start over
I've got a hole in my heart from some kind of emotional roller-coasta';

To get something you never had. 
You have to do something you never did. 
When God takes something from your grasps,
He is not punishing you, but merely 
opening your hands to receive something BETTER!


CONCENTRATE ON THIS SENTENCE ...

"The will of God, will never take you where the grace of God, will not protect you."

did i..did i... did i....

Did i really fail?
or just knew when to let go?
Love is like swimming up streams,
Rocky and slippery seams. 
Even when its over your head
And everything is falling through..
Losing you is effortless, 
And i am slowly becoming part of your past...
All because we didn't last.
The days seem to go longer. 
Why do you still have to cross my dreams?
your gone.... your gone...

“He heals the brokenhearted & binds up their wounds.”    (Psalm 147:3)

My Sacturary

sanc·tu·ar·y

  [sangk-choo-er-ee]

–noun, plural -ar·ies.

- a sacred or holy place.

- an especially holy place in a temple or church

- other sacred place where fugitives wereformerly entitled to immunity from   arrest.

- immunity afforded by refuge in such a place.

- any place of refuge; asylum.